You Must Have the Hostage Special!

UPDATES:

School going back soon, soon, soon!

AND

My first sketch, "Rod and Mitch Will Draw For You- Episode 1" has been filmed and will be up on the World Wide Web soon, soon, soon!

Trying to get it online now, to no avail. Anyway, join the Facebook group, "Rod and Mitch Will Draw For You" (clever name, huh?), in the meantime!

HEY. FUCK YOU. WATCH THIS.

Jan30/09- Going back to school on Monday. Fuckfuckfuck.
BUT I hope you all enjoyed Episode One. Please join the group, watch it over and over and leave your praise spewed everywhere. I have Episode Two written, and we pretty cohesively agree that it's better, but now that school is back and I'm certainly going to be balls-deep in it, filming might have to wait until this semester is over. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, but no one wants to film without me there. D'aww, shucks. I am the Lorne Michaels AND Bonnie and Terry Turner of this project, so I definitely want to be there for the filming, but on the other hand, I also just want to get these pumped out on a semi-regular basis. But on the other OTHER hand, for episode two, I'm going to be pretty picky about the execution, so maybe I should be in the delivery room for this bundle of joy. We'll just have to see if I survive my accelerated and abbreviated first semester of post-secondary.

May I Have 55 Words With You?

Apparently, one can learn how to write comedy from books. 

I intend to stay up and read said books. If I become funnier, send  $1 to the authors or their respective widows.

Also, "An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live"?

Yes. Ten times yes.

Also, updates:

University still on strike. Someone set fire to the union's picketing shelters on campus. I can see the flashing lights from my balcony right now. Magnificent.

No sketch production updates. Filming is put on hold whilst I'm back in the city, and when I return? I'll get to it as soon as I possibly feel like it!

If I get bored enough, I might write another episode, but don't hold your various breaths.

Currently evading sleep to read:

The Comic Toolbox: How to Be Funny Even If You're Not by John Vorhaus

G'night, my little chuckle buckets!

Hold On to Your Butts.

It comes as no surprise to me: writing comedy is much more difficult than writing drama. It is frustrating; the pressure to not only be humorous, but also original, to write something that appeals to the most amount of people (including comedians) and still be proud of it.

But for some reason, it is also fun and exhilarating. I feel like I'm not only doing something productive, but something that could possibly contribute to my future? Whoa, that's heavy.

I don't consider myself a comedian, but I do understand comedy as an art and an industry, which is why some may consider me pretentious about the subject. It's not that I think I am better than any comedians (far from it!), but you aren't going to make me laugh just because you snagged yourself an hour on Comedy Central, and if you don't make me laugh, you aren't really doing your job. And yet, people like this are able to make a living through these means. That gives me some hope. If nothing else, I could always be a "Women are like this, men are like this, AMIRITE?" stand-up. I have a ridiculous amount of respect for those who are attempting to not only make a living in this career, but to also bring something original to the table. These are the people that I study and idolize. They are the reason I watch SNL faithfully (even through the rough seasons), and spend far too much time on YouTube. Kudos, folks!

In conclusion, I am just a baby to this whole writing thing, I'm still finding my footing and learning, but I'm finding it to be exhausting and exciting and fun and frustrating, just a little scary, but an awesome rush. Luckily, I am my own biggest fan and my work usually makes me laugh the most. Unfortunately, I don't have too many (any?) fellow comedians as friends, so I mostly have to bounce ideas off of... well, myself. I would love to get a serious sketch comedy team (oxymoron?) put together, made of aspiring comedians or especially hilarious people. 

People that make me laugh right now:

Derrick Comedy

Stella

Picnicface

Tina Fey

Giggle out, kids!

Suck It, Monkeys!

I've started running with the second idea from my brainstorming session. A sketch series called "Rod and Mitch Will Draw For You." It falls somewhere between sitcom, sketch and short. It has situational humour, and somewhat of a continuing story line, but the episodes are short and sketch-like. I'm aiming for about 5 minutes (or less) for each episode. So far, I have my director and my main characters set, and some pretty good feedback. So this thing might actually get off the ground! 

More updates on this as they happen, and if anyone wants to get involved, just contact me!

* UPDATES *

Two "episodes" of 'Rod and Mitch' completed. Note to self: film it?

01/14/09 - Storyboard-ing for episode 1 has commenced! Goal, to be completed: When it's finished, all right?

01/16/09 - Need to get this fuck on the road, because I'm moving back! Filming this weekend, hopefully!

Oh, I Like to Have Dinner Every Night.

She did it, ladies and gentleman. This moi, right here, just finished my first comedy sketch ever.

Well, the first draft anyway.

High five!

Are You Mental? Get the Net!

Oh look! A place to brainstorm. Get out, this is my Yuk Shack.

1. "Sarrah Sholdice and the Fight for Funny": Sorry, Joe. I'm going to parody you, here. But you can help! Sarrah is in a consistent fight against things that are not funny; Family Guy, Carlos Mencia, Jeff Dunham, Blue Collar Comedy, bad slapstick, hack stand-ups, Epic/Date/Superhero Movie, 4chan, etc. Basically, kicking and screaming in the name of humour. Essentially, because everyone knows how much of a comedy snob I am. Series.

2. "Rod and Mitch Will Draw For You": Two best friends attempt to create a webcomic together. Somewhat based on my roommates, perhaps? Sitcom-esque, series. Either a) can't get it off the ground because of creative differences, arguments. Frienemies? Or b) can't get it off the ground, because everyone hates it but them. Heterosexual platonic love?

3. "Sarrah On...": Sarrah's thoughts and advice on a variety of subjects and situations. Series Could be replaced by not me? Sarrah On: Meeting Your Heroes, Sarrah On: The First Date, Sarrah On: Succeeding in School, Sarrah On: Wowing Your Boss, Sarrah On: Your Sister Asking You To Be In The Delivery Room But You Don't Want To Be The First Person To Barf Near Her Baby, etc.

4. "The First Original First Date": Man tries to impress a girl, with an original first date with HILARIOUS RESULTS. May require clown suit, carousel, pennyfarthing, many televisions all playing "Commando". "Bet you've never done this on a date before." Sketch.

5. "Writer's Block": A group (few? pair?) of writer's tries to generate new sketch ideas, with HILARIOUS RESULTS. Sketch.

6. "MAX FUNDS!": Charity commercials bringing you down? How about we JAZZ UP THAT SHIT?! EXTREME CHARITIES! Alternatively, charities that shouldn't exist. Or a mix of the two. Sketch.

More later? Hopefully, yes.

*Need writing partners/sketch team members!* 

Are You the Keymaster?

Considering no one reads this, for the humourous musings or the serious business I discuss within the virtual pages, I figure I can start to use this space to rant a little bit more, without irritating anyone except for the Internet's TubeMasters or whoever monitors the World Wide Web.

So, it's now 2009, and I can say with complete conviction that 2008 was the most ridiculous year of my young life. Both good and bad, new and exciting and scary and sad and rich and fresh, and a lot more ands. I've made people smile, and cry. In this shiny new year, I plan to do more of the former and less of the latter.

Usually, I hate New Year's Resolutions and never thought about them, made them, or broke them. But this year is different, in so many ways. This year really is a fresh start, and I'm not afraid to start again. I now realize that I didn't have New Year's Resolutions, because I had no goals and no desire to have goals. And, again, this year is different. I'm not going to kid myself into thinking I'm going to completely change myself as a person, but it's nice to have a direction to go in. So, I guess we'll see. As I begin to compile the yearly to-do list, I repeat what appears to have been my mantra for this past annum: Here goes.

1. Get It Together, Sholdice: Let's focus, let's succeed. It's your first year, you've got to make it out alive. Hopefully with some decent grades to show for it.

2. Build up the Yuk Shack: Just because people tell you that you're funny doesn't mean you can do it for a living. Let's prove it.

3. Dance With Me: You've found it. Let's hold on to it.

4. The Kansas Ink: Just get the damn thing already.

5. Back to Thirty: Go back to 30 Rockefeller Plaza. Conan, SNL, Tina.

6. Revenge of the Nerds: Build up that comic collection, buy some video games. You're falling behind in geek points.

7. Diet PC Cola: Just drop a few more. Tina was 127 lbs, but that was three seasons ago and she's 5'4 and 1/2, you're not.

That's about all I have, actually. 

The more I stop to think about it, the happier I become.

I'm so fucking goddamn lucky. How did this happen to me? ... Not that I'm complaining.

This year. Yes. Let's fuck this year up, olde style.